First
off, this clearly doesn’t speak for ALL Millennials as it more or less just
paints a broad picture, so if you feel your view point as one hasn’t been well
represented or even at all, you can shoot me a hate mail at the address
provided at the end of this article (let’s just pretend there’s one).
This
wasn’t supposed to be a blog post, in fact if everything in the universe
aligned as we’d always like it to be, this was supposed to be a podcast, but
shit happens, from lack of equipment to trying to figure out the right
equipment to guests not being available (you know who you are), to… well,
Coronavirus reminding us there’s only so little of our daily lives that we
actually can control. Never thought I’d come back to blog-posting, but here we
are!
I’ll skip the intro for what the podcast was supposed to
be, because we might still end up doing it (providing Lord Procrastination does
not call me to further service) and get right to our first topic: adulting in
Nigeria or better yet, the survivalist guide for Millennials. How the hell do
you guys do it?! One day at a time, huh? I hear that’s how the world moves too.
The best description of adulting I ever saw was from a tweet read: The most tiring thing about adulting to me
is how CONSTANT it is. There is ALWAYS some shit to sort out. You 'chilling'
means you're probably just ignoring the million things on your to-do list.
The most tiring thing about adulting to me is how CONSTANT it is.
There is ALWAYS some shit to sort out. You 'chilling' means you're probably just ignoring the million things on your to-do list.— Lord Babbi (@tee_babz) January 13, 2020
Now, for the most part I quite like adulting, it comes with
a lot of freedom I never had, but there are things about it that pop up every
now and then that makes you question its purpose. For one, as stated in the
tweet above, this shit is fucking constant. There are virtually no time-outs,
except when a disease shuts the world down or you die. The other thing for me,
is when you adult alone, you realize why people end up getting partners. Imagine
being quarantine all on your own! Geez! But that’s the other thing, you think
adulting means you’re an actual adult and then you live with another “adult”
and you realize you two are babies! Welcome to relationships, lol!
But… we’re going to find a solution, collectively… although
I’m the only one writing this. By the way, my auto-correct kept changing
“adulting” to “adulating”, which means to praise someone excessively, which
makes me think of how they hyped up adulting to us as children! SCAM!!!
So many of us come into adulthood unprepared, because
growing up we’re not actually taught life-skills that would help us. No,
instead emphasis is being made on cramming books to pass exams! African
parents, thank you for the education, but I’m looking at most of you here… and
our various educational systems! So what are some life-skills all adults should
know? Well, here’s an interesting article to help guide your path: https://medium.com/the-mission/the-12-important-life-skills-i-wish-id-learned-in-school-f4593b49445b
To be a fully functional adult in today’s world, one must
have a livelihood. Trust fund babies, this article may not be for you! And if
you’re an adult in Nigeria, well, there goes your dilemma: 1.) You’re an adult.
2.) You’re an adult IN NIGERIA, which means you know that jobs don’t just come
and go with ease for most people. There are too many people vying for the same
white, blue, purple & mutli-coloured collar jobs out there. There are so
many factors against you even within the work environment when you do have the
job sef!
Interestingly though, jobs that were once seen as “less
than” or meant only for people of a lower background about a decade or two ago,
are now being celebrated by the children of those who decried them.
The importance of an occupation cannot be understated, for it tends to come with some form of financial freedom, which is a big part of being your own individual and an even bigger part of just being a Nigerian. As they say, “if you don’t have money, forget it!” Sad, but that is the financial reality of being Nigerian; wealth can dictate a lot, as it generally can elsewhere. The difference here being how blatant it is!
When it comes to housing, most of us have been able to
survive urban living, because ours is a society that allows multi-generational
households, so it’s not surprising to see thirty year olds living with their
parents and extended family, although that is slowly decreasing within some
areas, especially as more and more youths are moving to cities with the hope of
better jobs and a better standard of living. This however is not necessarily
the reality. First of all, urban areas offer a high cost of living. You’re
basically paying for just existing there and all the other added drama that
comes with it.
There are multiple social issues to contend with once
you’re out in the world and striving. Things we never heavily thought of before
or wish to confront are coming more and more to the fore. We now talk about
mental-health, rape culture and so much more. On our mental well-being, we as a
society operate on a daily basis without much thought to whether we are all
right. As long as everything is physically okay, we automatically translate that
to mean everything is okay mentally too. However we know that’s not really the
case. Thankfully, more and more individuals and organizations are providing
support and awareness for people in need and there’s less stigma around talking
about our problems to well-trained individuals.
As adults we mingle and this leads to various types of
relationships. Dating life in Nigeria can be comically and at times tragically
complicated. Aside from cultural and social differences, not to mention the gender
differences in a society that favours one sex over the other, we’ve slowly
began addressing rape culture in a society that only had one definition for the
crime, but also refused to see the culture that could and had allowed it to
happen in the past and till date.
With so much insecurity from the law and from within social
circles, it’s easy to see why so many of us may find it hard to speak up beyond
our keyboards, just speaking alone is a courageous act for some and should be
greatly appreciated in an environment where it hasn’t always been welcomed to
talk about the ill-treatments handed out to you or others!
I’ve only so far spoken about things we generally go
through as individuals, when you add in a fully functional relationship and/or
family, you’ve got bigger things to think of. Culturally speaking, there are
expectations of being an adult in Nigeria, one of which is the menace called
marriage. Don’t worry, my mom doesn’t know I write this stuff. In all honesty,
I respect marriage. I just don’t understand why everybody made it a priority on
everybody else’s list of things to do. Who started that memo?! They should be
fired!
And speaking of our culturally inclined society, a lot younger
Nigerians are moving away from the norms and customs that our parents and their
parents before them held so dear. This obviously results in some generational
clashes, but also within our generation, where some people are less inclined to
the norm while others prefer to retain the status quo. These battles are often
fought across the religious, social, gender and political landscape that paints
Nigeria with no signs of slowing down. This isn’t a bad thing, if at all it
makes us grow as a society.
So here’s to surviving Nigeria, may our generation right enough wrongs just to make it easier for the next one. Cheers… and wear your masks!
