MY INAUGURATION

My inauguration shall take place at 11:00a.m. No more 7 or 8 o’clock swearing in. I want the whole country to be awake when I’m sworn in, this isn’t a Yar’adua presidency. I shall arrive in an el-Rufai bus adorning the Nigerian flag and presidential seal with all my staff. As always the inauguration shall take place at Eagles Square. The purpose of the bus is to signify a new change in government, a symbol of the time of the common man.

At 12:00p.m, I shall address both chambers of the house at the National Assembly and ask them to cut their July/August holiday short. Seeing as I shall be sworn on May 31st, I need them working for more than a month. Governance is not a holiday, IT IS A JOB and I need my soldiers with me. It will be my first proposal to the house. All that money they’re being paid, they can afford to forfeit half their holiday. And thus starts my first conflict with the house.

At 3p.m, I shall meet with the men of the Nigerian Army and talk of/about our various peace keeping missions abroad, as well as the ones in our dear nation like the Niger Delta and Jos and the need to secure our borders from unwanted individuals. At 5p.m, I shall meet the youth organizations and various other groups who helped campaign for me and show some gratitude. This is of course if I was truly voted in and not unconstitutionally rigged in like *ahem*, you know who, what with this charade we have called democracy.

At 8p.m, we shall have the state dinner. All government officials as well as foreign diplomats will be invited, not to mention members of the press. The dinner shall be at the State House. If not, there’s always the I.C.C (International Conference Center).

At 10p.m, it’s off to bed as I pray God grants me the wisdom to lead my people and accomplish what has never been done. I then kiss my wife (that woman whose being by my side when I was a nobody that used to walk and enter bus before being able to buy Tokunbo car) and then face the next four years of my life under the most scrutiny any individual in this country can go through. A prison full of luxuries.


BELOW IS A DETAILED OUTLINE FOR THE DAY:

INAUGURATION DAY ACTIVITIES


10:30 President shall depart the villa by bus.

11:00 Inauguration shall start

12:00 NASS Address

15:00 Meeting with military personnel (Army Ball)

17:00 Meeting with youth organizations (Youth Ball)

20:00 Evening Ball at Villa


Side Note: The Youth Ball shall start at 16:30; the President shall be expected by 17:00. The Evening Ball shall last from 20:00-22:00.

Concerning the public bus, in which the president shall be transported in, a bus shall be chosen, cleaned and have no advert placements. It shall be decorated with the Nigerian flag colours and Presidential Seal, which shall be taken off by the day’s end. The chosen driver of the bus shall be paid a sum of N500, 000.