BEFORE WE CONTEMPLATE HAVING STATE POLICE

A lot of talk about state police has come up of recent, with some groups for and some obviously against it. Former IGPs (Inspector General of Police) have voiced their concern about it, while former head of state IBB has voiced his favour for it. The one issue that seems to be somehow left behind is the police themselves. What do we do with the Federal police that as it is appears to be weak, let alone when we have state police under their various state government with undoubtedly their various laws? Already it seems state governments have the power to create additional “forces”, for example Kano has the Hisbah police. Although they are more of a social group, they are given the same authoritative power as the police by the state.

There are essentially two types of police, preventive (uniformed) police and detectives. One of the supposed many problems with the Nigerian force is there are too many preventive officers. The truth is in any country, uniformed officers outnumber non-uniform ones. The problem in Nigeria is we have more than our fair share of uniformed many who never seem to move up the ladder, hence why you become their employer when they stop you on the highway and call you, “Chairman” so you can pay their salary.

While the Nigerian force does have a CID (Criminal Investigation Department) it is not as prominently known as the uniformed officers who show up at your house, take notes and then go back to the station, where they still gather information in one of those long notebooks you last saw in secondary school with the cashier at your school shop and tell you, “We’ll look into it”.

Another thing is the men of the CID don’t have a fixed dress code in Nigeria, you can not tell a CID officer when you see one, because unlike how it should be required most of the time, they don’t dress in formal attire (suits). Yes, CID officers are allowed to dress in plainclothes for the purpose of blending in, but who would you take serious (supposing they’re not scam artists) if they showed up at you door claiming to be a police officer, the man in the suit with I.D or the plain clothe officer? It should mostly be the work of the SSS to not have to confirm to some formal dress code, unless when needed.

Another issue is how long a police officer should be allowed to stay in a unit. The fear is the longer officers stay in the same place, the easier it is to create "cliques" that can contribute to corruption or other unethical behavior, but this theory can be challenged if you have a team that works well together for the general public.

The second major issue after differentiating the types of police is how to move them u in ranks. To be able to do that, there has to be an expansion of the police force itself. Already the FRSC (Federal Road Safety Corp) has taken over dealing with major road traffic/violation issues, while the EFCC/ICPC have taken over dealing with high official cases, usually involving fraud. This seems to have left the police with less today and in a way rightfully so. The above mentioned organizations have done better at handling their assigned cases than the police would have if given the task. So what do the police have left, aside from putting up insurmountable roadblocks on the city’s highway? Well, they are a few options and this is where moving up in rank helps. For starters there is the already aforementioned CID, to be an officer in that department; one must have spent two years of preventive (uniform) service. I know police officers who have been in the same position for 5 years; I see them everyday when they stop me. Obviously one cannot move up just by virtue of two years preventive work, they must be assessment tests to evaluate the capability of such officers before letting them proceed, the minimum requirement being two years of preventive work (controlling traffic, checkpoints, e.t.c.).

There’s the opportunity to create a few more departments like a Highway patrol division. People seem to have it confused. What we have technically in Nigeria are police officers on our highway and not a highway patrol. The duties of highway patrol go beyond mere roadblocks and checkups, we have soldiers doing that, which shows again that something else has been taken from the police, but any addition is great in these dire times.

There’s the opportunity to create the Coast guards or Port police to handle maritime areas like the Lagos port and our various waterways. Again to be eligible here one must have the required two years.

Each division is assigned a certain function to be carried out duly and each one requires certain qualifications aside from the two year minimum. For example men/women who graduate to Highway patrol must have first hand knowledge of first aid kits in cases of accidents and should be equipped with ambulances and tow trucks. Men/women who graduate to Port police, must be able to swim and drive boats and so and so forth.

Another available option in expanding the police is what I refer to as State Department Police. This is police that deals with issues concern our borders and neighbouring countries. Already such a division exists under the Jonathan administration, where our intelligence/security personnel deal with crime-related issues concerning Nigerians in neighbouring West African countries. Obviously for the Nigerian police officer to be part of this he/she must have put in more than just two years of work and have at least a required knowledge of a foreign language, preferably French seeing as most of our neighbours are French speakers.

Of course all of these expansions could be nil without first improving the preventive stage of the police unit, where the largest number of officers are situated. Issues such as the use of weapons or any type of force, how to address the public, treatment of suspects, e.t.c need to be discussed. One very important issue that comes every now and then, only to be forgotten after public debate is the treatment of gunshot victims. Till this day, despite multiple incidents where innocent people have been allowed to die from gunshot wounds because hospital staffs fear the police labeling them as accomplices, we still haven’t allowed the innocent to be treated and if they are criminals why can’t the hospital staff be allowed to contact the authorities while they attend to the suspects. If this is not acceptable for the authorities then why can’t they assign police officers to hospitals to watch over gunshot victims? Must every innocent gunshot victim be turned into a criminal suspect? The police have blood on their hands for this! The most recent nationwide incident was during the Occupy movement when two young men were shot and refused to be attended to by hospital staff. While the police can argue that these rioters were acting out of control, it does not allow them to play with their lives either. It is unfair and unjust! This is one area where the expansion of the preventive force can be useful; assign officers to hospitals. Also the hospitals should play their part and request for police officers to be assigned to their institutions so as to avoid any bureaucratic back and forth as is likely happen. The police can not aware of every hospital and it’s going to take time to shake this “culture” of letting innocent people die because they’ve being shot!

Another issue is the holding of suspects. Not only do we fear trigger-happy police officers, we fear being accused of a crime and having our rights denied when in custody. With all these issues at hand, how can we contemplate having state police, when we haven’t dealt with the basics!

52 THINGS NIGERIANS ARE GREAT AT

So here's the thing, GQ magazine has this article called, "50 Things America Does Better Than Anyone Else" in which they name 50 things they believe they are better at than the rest of the world. You can google it for you amusement. Some of it true, some of it could've been replaced with other things. The point being that Americans are a proud people, which brings me to my point: the only other people I know with as much pride and arrogance (I say that in the nicest way) are Nigerians. Only a Nigerian who lives as a pauper in his country, would go abroad and expected to be treated like royalty. Only a Nigerian would disobey the laws of his land  and go abroad and all of the sudden decide to behave. Only a Nigerian. So there are things I believe we do better than most people, but instead of 50 things we do better than anyone else, I just simply want to compile 50 things we're great at: election rigging, mediocre entertainment, self-delusion of grandeur, e.t.c. Whatever you can think of. The reason why it reads 52 in the title is because we are going to be 52 in October by post-colonial years, because Lord knows this country was formed in 1914, but I digress and I have a feeling we just might have a long list. So feel free to share your thoughts on what we do great here in the comment section or feel free to write a little something and send to my e-mail: lostdogg84@yahoo.com. This is not a scam (another thing we do great), I will insha-Allah compile this (another thing we do great: call God).

THE PROBLEM WITH NIGERIAN FOOTBALL… LIKE I REALLY KNOW

For the first time in twenty-something odd years, Nigeria missed out on the CAF championship, a position that most Nigerians have taken as a birthright, much like the often repeated speculation that some Northerners have taken power as a birthright. Like the Northerners, Nigerians as a whole have seen it is not so and as such this year’s CAF championship is missing a lot of Nigerian viewers and not to mention the sponsorships that would’ve come with from telecommunication companies and so on had Nigeria qualified, which brings me to my topic of discussion; curing the sports industry, specifically football. First of all let me state, I’m not that big a football fan. I mean I don’t get a heart attack when my team loses and I don’t put off meeting my girlfriend just to watch a match, providing I had a girlfriend to begin with, but what I believe I do have is what most Northerners are known for (and perhaps only good at really). I have administrative skills (read: the power to tell people what to do… or at least the desire to want to boss them around.) With that I present to you a solution, yes, the only good one I could think of. First, let’s look at some of the problems.

Nigerians have witnessed all manner of questionable activities concerning football in Nigeria from corruption at the top level of the NFA to the issue of the age of certain players in and out the country to a perceived lack of commitment from some of our players to an all round lack of consistency in the handling of our sports affairs. Lots of various “solutions” have been offered like getting a foreign coach and yadda, yadda, yadda. The only solutions that don’t seem to be really heard are the ones that come from people who really love the game and not the politics of it; people who would rather watch homegrown players and see a match between two Nigerian clubs than Liverpool vs. Man U.

So we come to where I think the answer may be: we go local. Starting with the local football league, which suffers from a lack of attention usually skewered instead towards foreign leagues. The idea isn’t to necessarily get local football on TV as that may seem like the most likely solution. That’s already been done and it hasn’t changed anything. The solution lies in the teams themselves. There are only two well-known or should I say celebrated football academies in the country; the Pepsi academy and the Kwara State football academy. Two academies alone are not going to produce the champions of tomorrow, let alone today. It is with this in mind, that I suggest that every local team have a youth team as part of their organization. The advantages cannot be understated. For one, the clubs will have a pool of players to choose from to join their A-team. Second, for the youth, whether or not they end up being superstars or not, it will keep them preoccupied at an impressionable period of their lives.

Now, some clubs might bring up the issue of money and what and how much it takes to financially handle a youth team, but when they look at the cost against the advantage of having a youth team, they will realize the advantages outweigh the cost in the long run. With a solid base like this in place, I believe everything else will become easier to solve, because you can’t have football without the players. There are also always sponsors willing to lend a hand to support such initiatives like youth clubs so I don’t think it would be hard for teams that are serious about doing so and let’s not forget nearly all the local teams in Nigeria are state-sponsored.

WHY WE ARE NOT GOING BACK TO N65 ANYTIME SOON!

THE DAMAGE HAS BEEN DONE!

First of all let me state I am not pulling a Reuben Abati here, i.e I am not one moment against the removal of subsidy and all of the sudden in support of it, rather I believe I am seeing things for what they really are. Today (Sunday 8th) I was watching the House reconvene for its emergency meeting on the removal of fuel subsidy and while I wholeheartedly support every argument against the removal of subsidy, I am afraid its been made clear there’s no going back. While those who support President Jonathan’s decision to remove subsidy seemed to be in the minority, they raised some points which unfortunately those in the majority (against the removal) only seem to prove true. First of all was the constant use of the term, “ill-timed”. I’ve heard this being used in the past by those who want subsidy removed but think it is “ill-timed” and as such those people are now anti-subsidy removal… for now. This brings in the question when will it be right to remove subsidy and are they saying that should subsidy be brought back and the price of fuel reverts to N65, that Nigerians still have to fear its removal again? That we are going to do this merry-go-round once more, where we come out on the streets and protest?! No, I am not for that one; I am not Comrade Oshiomole in his heydays. Let’s decide which one we want first! It is either we want subsidy back to stay for good till our children’s children’s children decide to rumble amongst themselves or we go with Jonathan’s “medicine after death” cure for its removal, but not for us to go back to N65 and live in constant fear of when next the government will remove it in our lifetime.

Second, still on those in the majority against its removal, were those complaining that Jonathan did not create the right “cushions” to soften the effects of the removal. First of all, that sounds like they’re making an excuse for him to remove subsidy. Yes, Jonathan’s medicine after death cure is perhaps unprecedented in the history of Nigeria, but the question is was Goodluck doing anything to really ‘cushion” the lives of the ordinary Nigerian before the removal? He didn’t do much! Even before the issue of fuel subsidy removal came up, so many people who voted for him told me there were disappointed in his performance, it wasn’t like he was parting the Red Sea for us to go, ‘Okay, maybe we should give him a chance on this subsidy removal issue.” No, we were busy drowning. So please let’s stop saying the right measures were not taken for the removal of subsidy, the fact is the right measures were not taken in improving our lives, not just on the issue of subsidy. Yes, it is an undeniable fact that certain measures MAY have helped, but why only on subsidy. How about on transport or on the salaries of our government officials? Oh wait, that’s right, we do those things after the hurt has been put in place.

Interestingly, I would like to note that today was perhaps the first day I watched the House with keen interest, much to the dismay of my mother who just wanted to watch Nollywood and as much support as there was against Jonathan’s actions, the majority really got beat up by the minority when it came to the issue. They all seemed to be saying the same thing, because while one group was in support of the removal, the group against it seemed to be coming up with conditions to which they will allow it as if to say we will succumb, but first let’s have this. It is with that in mind that I believe we are not going back to N65. This is the argument that should’ve happened before its removal, not after! But I can’t leave without a solution and this is one you will all not agree with me. I watched as Jonathan handed car keys to owners of the new mass transit buses he launched. My father asked me if the President was giving them out for free, I replied, “Why won’t he give it out for free after what he’s taken away from people?” Unfortunately you and I do not get free diesel powered cars, he is not Oprah. Seeing as the president is serious on this matter and no one seemed to raise an eyebrow when the budget was represented with no allocation for subsidy, here’s what I suggest: it is now up to Labour to negotiate with the government to bring the price of fuel down, which even if they succeed in doing, I guarantee you will not go below a N100. Some of you are saying, “We still won’t agree!” Ok o! Here’s something that will shock you.

When we were protesting at Eagles Square, no, excuse me, when we were protesting near Eagles Square on Friday, my friend Hajho pulled me to the side and said, “Nasir, have you notice the caliber of people protesting here? Have you noticed that most of us here can actually afford to buy fuel at the new price and that those who will suffer more than us are actually absent?” Now some of you might say if we were in Lagos, we would’ve seen the lower class in mass, but I still believe in one way or another Abuja is still representative of the whole country. There were no bus drivers or conductors and no cab drivers with us on our march. The most we got from them was, “We are with you bros… keep fighting!” Those of us fighting were admittedly mostly from homes that won’t feel the pinch as much as others yet we came out to protest what we believe was a rash and inconsiderate decision. If you had asked me, a week ago if I could be anyone in the world, I would’ve said, Christine Lagarde, the IMF boss so that I could jump off a bridge. Today, Lagarde is no longer our problem, Ngozi Iwela still is and so is this government and unfortunately so is its people if we can not stand together.

Garba Deen Muhammad wrote something funny in his column today, “for those who believe in God, Dr. Goodluck Ebele Jonathan is one of the greatest testimonies that it is indeed God who gives power to whom He pleases, otherwise, really, Mr. Jonathan wouldn’t have risen beyond a deputy director in the department of fisheries at the Bayelsa state ministry of water resources”.

He further added, “…both Jonathan and the rest of us are victims of his inherent weaknesses… which means the noise that everybody is making now about the removal of subsidy on fuel—illogical, illegal, insensitive, ill timed, e.t.c—is all so much bunkum as far as Mr. Jonathan is concerned. It is another “something we have to learn to live with.”” The original something we had to live with was the incessant attacks by Boko Haram, so what’s the removal of fuel subsidy?

I advise you all to look for the article and read it in its entirety. And another thing, Jonathan may have his weaknesses and yes he drags us along with him, but make no mistake about it as we have seen this past week, the man is not weak as far as this issue is concerned… he is straight-up gangster! He flew to South Africa as soon as he gave away the mass transit buses. He is going to S.A to dance, dance, dance and forget his sorrow! We only have left to come up with his theme music for when he walks into the room and no it can not be our song. I know, shameless plug, but I can’t help it. I’m on the 1st verse and as such cannot ascertain the quality of the rest of the song and I know it sounded like I said, “Presh air” which would be very Malo of me, but I actually said, “Fresh air!”! Back to the real issue:

On a more serious note I fear what may happen today (as we have entered Monday as I write this) with the president out of the country, any mishap that happens during the NLC strike will not be blamed on Jonathan as he will say, "I was not there when it happened. My orders were to ensure peace and order was maintained". I have seen this strategy used so often before! Please, be careful out there! Peace!

16 Years Ago (1995) We Got Defended!

WHEN HOPE SEEKS RE-ELECTION

First of all let me make it clear: this isn’t some sort of anti-American rant. At least I hope it doesn’t come off as one. These days I don’t write as much as I used to on account of me working on other stuff, mostly music, but every now and then something gets my attention to put finger to keyboard. This past week or so depending on when you read this, President Hope a.k.a Barack Obama announced his bid to seek re-election. You might not have noticed what with the war in Libya (it’s amazing how it quickly became a war) to Lauren Gbago facing his 11th hour to Japan to all the other stuff more important than Obama’s bid.

It’s hard not to be critical of President Obama. It’s even hard to be critical of him without coming off somewhat anti-American against U.S foreign policy. Let’s face it, Obama’s audacity has failed us. Back when Obama first decided to seek for the highest office in the land of the United States, not many outside of America gave him a chance. I did! I remember having a conversation with my older brother, either while watching a democratic presidential debate, back when there were like 12 of them or when it was just McCain and Obama during the final debates. My brother said there was no way America would vote for a black man. I told him he was wrong, not because I thought America had finally decided to see beyond colour, but because the hype around Barack was unavoidable, it was like no other. Corporate America was all over him like big corporations over an athlete to endorse their product. He couldn’t lose! He had practically won. All that was left was for him to take the oath.

I however did not fall for the hype that he was the savior that America and the world had been waiting for. My first refusal to fall into the hype was when I noticed how the American media was quick to vilify McCain whilst putting Obama on a pedestal. Rolling Stone magazine even did a cover where they exposed McCain as a sellout during the Vietnam war, when he was captured by the VietCong. That was before or after a Rolling Stone cover of Obama as America’s big hope. It was like the media had decided who they not only preferred, but who they wanted in office, rather than being fair and balanced. And no, FOX News does not count as balance.

My second refusal was when I read the separate agendas that Obama and his main democratic rival, Clinton had. Anyone who knows the history of America’s health issues in the ‘90s, will know that Hillary Clinton was the Pharmaceutical companies’ biggest nightmare when her husband was president. As First Lady, she had tried to push for free health care in America. The big companies eventually bought her over. Watch Michael Moore’s “Sicko” for more on that. Also Hillary had the better economic and health plans than Obama did. A fact that was more or less revealed after Obama clinched the democratic ticket.

I admit I was ecstatic when Obama won, but that was because on the surface America had gotten rid of one of its most negative images; that of years of internal racism. My excitement died the next day when I sat to watch Obama pick his cabinet. He was basically recycling Bill Clinton’s cabinet. Surely this wasn’t change we could rely on, was it? To add injury to his polished international image as a peace maker, especially in the Arab world, his very first meeting as president elect was with the Israeli lobby group AIPAC. This was not good. What was worse, this was shown on live TV to the world as if to say, “Make no mistake… this is where his allegiance lies”.

My final acceptance that Obama was not the chocolate Superman the media made him out to be was from my favourite blogger Byron Crawford a.k.a Bol, who interviewed Chicago based lawyer TPAR (These Posts Are Racists as he’s simply known). The interview touched on a few things, but more importantly on what TPAR who was an election lawyer (if you felt your vote wasn’t counted, they’d represent you) thought of Obama when the then candidate had dinner with their organization before the election and why he (TPAR) refused to vote for him (Obama). The full interview is here: http://www.xxlmag.com/bloggers/2008/11/interview-with-a-tpar/. It’s amazing how it seems to speak to the present situation of who Obama is and has been from the beginning.

Not that America and the world would’ve been in better hands if McCain and his sexy nanny, Sarah Palin had won, but it seems the former Alaskan governor was having the last laugh when she was quoted as saying, “So how’s that hopey-dopey changey stuff working out for ya?” Not so well! As one American clearly said, “I no longer hope for audacity”, a clear pun on Obama’s book, The Audacity of Hope. Dr. Cornell West said it best on the Russian news channel RT, Obama has aligned himself with the elite rather than the people who voted him in. It’s no excuse for conspiracy theorists to say it was truly Corporate America that voted him in, because regular people too stuck their neck out (and voted) for chocolate superman… and were eventually hoodwinked. Too bad he really couldn’t save anyone.

Will Obama win 2012? At this point he has become like his predecessor, George Bush Jr., where Americans have gotten used to him that he just might win again. With four wars in hand (cause let’s face it, Wisconsin is now a Middle-Eastern state), the American public might still rely on him more than anyone else.

TIME'S PERSONS OF THE YEAR 2010

The good folks at TIME magazine are at it again with their list of nominees for person of the year (and once again showing us how myopic the American press can be... No African contender). There are only two forerunners in my book for the award: Musician Lady Gaga and recently arrested WikiLeaks founder Julian Assange a.k.a whistleblower of the year and my personal hero for 2010. Among the other 25 nominees is Imam Feisal Abdul Rauf, head of the proposed Cordoba House a.k.a the Islamic center a.k.a the mosque that Muslims build at the site of their conquest (or a few blocks away from it)… the last part was sarcasm. There’s former Alaskan governor- you bet’cha -Sarah Palin. Just for fun, I’d like to say as a “peaceful Muslim” I “refudiate” her nomination. Hehehehe! Of course there’s America’s chocolate savior superman, Barack Obama. Will there ever be a year during his presidency, when he doesn’t make the list?

There are some questionable nominees like ‘the unemployed American’. Well excuse me TIME, as an African who’s lived here in Nigeria long enough I can tell you ‘the unemployed African’ has been our person of the year for quite some time now, so we’re not crying over yours. Also included are villains (by American standards of course), Chinese President Hu Juntao and Tony Haywood (a villain by any standard) of BP oil spill… and they still couldn’t put Robert Mugabe… not one African. Iranian president Ahmedinajed and his Venezuelan counterpart Hugo Chavez were pardoned from this year’s list… as was any African.

Other nominees include Mark Zuckerberg, founder of facebook, who has a movie- albeit one he doesn’t like, but a good one –based on his creation titled, The Social Network. There are names I never heard of or did and forgot who they were like Liu Xiaobo (he’s the guy causing trouble for the Chinese Government, kind of like how Assange is pissing the world off), J. Craig Venter (some crack scientist), Jonathan Franzen (the great American novelist, who’s great American novels I’ve never read) and a bunch of others. Still in the weird nominee category are the 33 Chilean miners who got nominated for… well being stuck in a mine, but perhaps the most undeserving is LeBron James. SERIOUSLY? For making a decision on TV? We’re not talking Michael Jordan here. LeBron made the list and no African did (LeBron being Black doesn’t count)? Still in the weird category, speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi made the list. For what? I don’t live in the States, but did she really pass a bill that made America or the world better? This is the Congresswoman quoted for saying, “We have to pass the bill so that you can, uh, find out what it is?” WOW! She sounds like she belongs in the Nigerian House of Assembly. Glenn Beck’s only real achievement might be making Bill O’Reilly look meek.

So who should’ve made the list, but didn’t? Judeo Mayor Michael Bloomberg who stood up for the Cordoba House, while the Christeo-Muslim president flip-flopped on the issue. (See what I just did there? I’M A GENUIUS. In order not to irk any fanatical Jew or Muslim, I’ll save the term Judeo-Muslim for another day.) For all her good work (depending which Korea you ask) Hillary Clinton didn’t make the list.

And now to the main issue at hand: who should win? I’ll tell you who I think should win, screw the TIME panel. Lady Gaga. Why? Line up a picture of all the nominated contestants and ask a 9 year old with Cable TV who they know/who’s more popular? Ra-ra-ra-ra-ra!